Being present...

Right now I'm anxious but I'm choosing to just BE in my anxiousness. I think our culture does ourselves a disservice by rejecting our varying emotions for the sake of 'taking our minds off' of something. I was watching a movie that was mindless and purposeless to remedy my feeling. Why do feelings need a remedy? Sometimes I feel out of touch with my God because I waste so much time 'taking care' of my emotions instead of embracing them for what they are and turning to Him for directions as to what to do with them. The bible says to not be anxious for anything but with prayer and supplication present your requests before God. So then why do I feel the need to distract my anxious thoughts instead of just presenting my cares before God? My worries and concerns should drive me into the presence of the most wonderful, peaceful God. I love the rest He brings my soul. I don't have to run or turn to temporary fixes, there is true rest for me. Its like taking a true, deep, top to bottom breath when you feel like you've been slightly holding your breath for so long.  Its good to just be here and to stop for a minute and take time to FEEL. 

 

On another (somewhat similar) note:

 I got to spend some awesome time the other day with my youngest bundle of fun. We rarely get fun time together because sweet little Anna is scooped up and shuttled around town where ever the day's activities takes us.

 Well last week we just got to sit outside together and play in the grass and enjoy a beautiful, peaceful morning. I'm learning more and more about this little one with each day that I am given with her. She's totally coming into her own and I LOVE WHO SHE IS!!!!!!

 She's a very cautious little one when it comes to walking or doing things that involve being more than a foot off the ground. But she is curious and loves to 'go'. She wants to be doing things with the big kids and you can watch her sweet face while she is watching them and see the great desire she has to be 'out there'.

 Well, that will all come in time. Right now I'm glad she is still a cuddly little one who needs here mama to hold her and help her out. I delight in her smile and her happy disposition... she enjoys being enjoyed.

Fixing her sister's jeep!

 I've heard it said that the 3rd child is typically the happiest. I can see that in Anna. She's just happy to do whatever and go along for the ride. I think she has her daddy's laid back, fun attitude. She is perfect fit to this family and I'm thankful everyday to call her mine.

 Oh, sweet girl, I just want to breathe you in!

Truth

Sometimes my feelings get hurt... Really its not to often. When it does happen though it kind of gets me in the gut. Sadly when I get beyond the hurt feelings and hold the word that was spoken out at arms length, I can see the truth in it. Why is it that when I am seen as what I am and not what I want people to see that I am put off my someone else's honest insight? Am I more disappointed and my inability to put on a good show? I don't know, I'm not perfect, I'm not who I WANT to be. There is a better version of me out there. For now I can only rely on the Spirit to lead me today. Who I am tomorrow isn't up to me.
Cute kids make things better:

Anna made this face the entire day! It made for some impressive pics! Ha! But Zaya's face is priceless!! So Sweet!!!

Its life or death for someone...

The past few weeks the Lord has been challenging me to wake up.  "Wake up o sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine upon you." Eph 5:14  Nothing super radical has happened but my heart has a longing that has not been awakened in a while. If anyone has 63 minutes, take a minute to listen to Tammy Hutchins' message from this past Sunday at Vintage 242. Vintage242.org Mind blowing. Eye opening. Heart breaking. Passion. It has it all people. Since listening to Tammy's talk and listening to a clip of Misty Edwards explaining what abandonment looks like to her, I'm just kind of out in left field with my glove on my head, staring at the sky in wondering what I can do to make things better.

I had a revelation today that broke my heart. Let me preface by saying that I keep heart ache at arms length, maybe I'm a little scared of it or something but for the most part I don't invite it into my life. I don't watch emotional movies, read emotional books and if one of those 'feed the children' commercials come on, I change it with a quickness. I guess I 'm kind of all-or-nothing. If I'm going to grieve over the heart break of this world, then I'm going to live my life heart broken. So this morning JM and I were chatting about living with less excess and I realized that in that moment when we were talking that there were babies and children who were living that would not still be alive by the time the sun set tonight because they lack simple things like appropriate clothing, food, places to sleep. Each time I run to chic-fil-a because I need my life to be easier there is a child fight to survive and my $12 easy meal could have helped that. Then I rationalize it and say sadly, that child isn't going to directly benefit from my $12 even if I gave it today. BUT i realized that if I had taken a step back with each of my purchases in "excess" and thought that this money is life or death for someone today that I would have spent it differently. I would have used SO much more of it to aide the many friends I have already serving over seas, saving lives everyday.

I need Jesus. I need the heart of Jesus to live a life that is completely abandoned to pull and pressures of Marietta, GA and American standards. I love America and the freedoms I have here. I just need Jesus in me to to out weigh the desire to have stuff. Today is life or death for someone. How can I live my life to give more people the chance to have life?

Back to School and Birthdays

I love how sweet she is!

Not so pumped about pics but ready to play :)

She's off!

Oh, I love him!

They're so little... just two awesome little people.

I think they would have frowned upon my yelling out the window for them to bring back my babies... but I wanted to.

Zaya's birthday dinner at Sapporro! 

She loved the aquarium!

Her fairy birthday cake after I cut it and removed the fairies... I was not on top of photography for this event!

Opening presents!

August Times

Glorious Rain

Little Puddle Jumpers

My babies love rain

keeping daddy entertained after the big surgery

She stands

Tiny dancer

Stealing Daddy's coffee

Goodnight

Yellow Bathrooms and Such

We live in an old house built cerca 1960 and I don't think its ever been updated. But I'm not complaining. We have a tiny half bath attached to our "master" bedroom and John mark and I can't both fit in there very gracefully. Again, I'm not complaining. Why? Because I have a tiny, yellow tiled bathroom and it is glorious. It is my favorite room in the house. It is always bright and sunny and because only one person can fit in there at a time, it is perfect. Don't get me wrong, I would love a huge master bath with a massive tub and dual vanities and tons of outlets (actually, one would be nice) but no matter where our adventures take us, I will forever paint my bathroom yellow. I will pray for glorious natural light. And I will always love this little yellow bathroom. My mom grew up in this house. I used to rinse my mouth with diluted mouthwash in this bathroom when I would have sleep overs with my grands. When I open closets or find myself buried in little nooks and crannies, I smell them. Sometimes my memories come alive again and I watch my childhood unfolding before me. I can see their Christmas tree, I can see LouLou getting maraschino cherries out of the fridge to drop in our ovaltine, I can feel the sweet arms of my PawPaw wrap around me as I fall into his always welcoming lap. I can point to the place on the floor where I opened up my kitchen aide mixer for my birthday the day after my PawPaw passed away. I can hear him humming and he cooked or got ready for the day. I can taste the mints that he always had in his pocket. I used to watch nickalodeon here (we didn't have cable). No matter what was going on in my life, I always felt welcome here. I was important here. Every kid needs that place. This house has such great memories and although my kids are still young, I pray they have great memories here too. Most of Anna's 'firsts' will be here as well as some of Jacob's. Its good for me to be in this little house right now, with its little yellow bathroom. I'm happy here. Until we move again and then I'll be happy there too.

Anniversary and Farmers Market

This is kind of 2 blogs in one, I love killing 2 birds with one stone... but I don't love that saying. Who is trying to kill a bird with a stone anyway?

Anniversary # 7!!!!!

Monday morning started out with JM leaving for work and returning home with roses and telling me that he was staying home from work! That was all I needed... Happy Anniversary to me! The End.

Nope, JM had planned a night out to a BEAUTIFUL Bed and Breakfast downtown. We left the house after the kids went down for a nap ( in the care of their wonderful Poppy and Mimi) and we headed out to a movie. Now we aren't 'movie' people. We don't go to the latest and the greatest movies. When an opportunity presents itself to go out just the two of us without kiddos, we don't typically head straight for the theatre. So basically, a trip to the show was a treat.

This anniversary we just enjoyed living life together. He stole my rings from my jewelry box and had them cleaned. He tied them to a champagne bottle with the same string that was tied on my engagement ring when we he proposed. It was good.

He made the day exciting and all about US. We haven't made things all about US in a while... He is a good man with a good heart.

The next morning we had a delish breakfast with 2 other couples and a woman staying at the B&B and it was a treat to talk to other people about their lives and what they're doing and where they're going. It can't be beat.

I'll remember this one forever. Anniversary 7 was good.

Farmers Market:

Just some kids and some friends and so my morning was great. I packet the babes in the carthis morning and we drove a whole 1/2 mile up to the square for the weekly farmers market. There so many times that I avoid little adventures because its hard to get out with Zay, Bean and Anna BUT today we did it. It was crazy hot but lemonade, Popsicles, shade and breezes made it all bearable. I love walking the street and seeing all the goods that are to be had. The fresh veggies and honey, homemade bread and sweets, its all beautiful and I just feel healthy for being there. It was a little challenging with all three but between Tatum and Amy holding Zaya and Bean's hands and Heather pushing them in the stroller while I fed Anna a popsicle, it was manageable. What would I do with out great friends? Katie, we missed you!!!

It seems that there is a new place opening on the square that sells women's athletic clothing. Its a Canadian based store and apparently its a big deal that we're getting one. They're pumping it up by having free yoga classes! I wish I had more info to share!