I love my kids, I mean I LOVE my kids. I really feel lost whenever I'm without either of them. Sometimes I go out with friends for a ladies night or whatever but during the majority of the evening I am thinking of my husband and my little ones. its not that I feel like they can't make it with out me or anything, I just really enjoy them and I don't want to miss opportunities to be with them and JM.
So, reality is that however much I adore these bundles, I still get frustrated and I have moments where I just want a little space. So today, as i sit here during the silence of nap time with my only companion the occasional flip flop of my lovely 3rd child, I am reminded of how life gives us no promises. God gives us promises but we have no guarantee of tomorrow. I just finished reading a blog of a friend of mine who lost her son during early labor and my heart is devastated. How does a family, who are completely excited and prepared to bring a new life into this world, handle the news that their baby, who they haven't yet met, has passed away? I don't know how a person moves on from that. I think of our bundle of fun on the way and I can't even let my mind wonder to the land of what-ifs. I can't comprehend life with out my little Zaya and Bean. So today I am reminded to live for the moments I have with my kiddos. To let Zaya wear what she wants and play the games she wants even if it makes a mess and if she has an accident, no worries, she'll potty train before she gets married, I'm sure of it. I need to let Bean get rambunctious and make a little extra noise and so what if he doesn't eat a good lunch... he won't starve and I need to just hold him if he wants to be held... he may not want to cuddle much longer. I also want to embrace being pregnant and find joy in this new life unfolding within me. I don't really enjoy being pregnant but today I will love it! I need to love every moment of my kids no matter what stage they're in... they are treasures intrusted to me and JM for a short time and I want to take it all in and not miss a moment. Maybe no more girls-night-outs for me. I'd rather be with my family:)
My babies on the train at the square... this pic is completely typical of their behavior... I love them!
With Aunt Jeannie Poo and the barn to see the horses. They LOVED it!
PS- I think we may find out if our new addition is a boy or a girl tomorrow!!!