Sunday, February 28, 2010

Brianna, Katie and Susan

Brianna, Katie or Susan, if you don't want any of this info posted, please let me know and I'll remove it.

Its the last day in Feb and the 3rd blog of my project but I have written this blog over and over in my head a million times... I'm looking forward to see how it turns out:) This particular blog goes out to 3 different ladies with 3 amazingly different stories but each of them changed me as a mom and how I love my kids, so let me start by saying thank you to each of them for sharing their journeys and teaching me so much.
I met Brianna in Minnesota when JM and I were dating and when we moved to MN as a married couple Brianna and I were fellow starbuckians and we had many mutual friends. This threw us together countless times and gave me the opportunity to see what a remarkable person Brianna is. When Brianna and her husband Ryan decided to have kids it didn't happen so easily and they chose to take fertility drugs to start the family that they dreamed of. They soon learned that their family was going to grow faster than they had expected because Brianna was pregnant with sextuplets! Crazy! You can read more about her story on her blog, which, by the way, is AWESOME! Long story short, she lost all the babies except for Sylas. Throughout her pregnancy and the loss of her 5 sweet babies, I prayed for her family and trusted the Lord with them and cried and cried when lives were lost. Her heart break drew me close to my little Zaya and even more so than before I saw her as the miracle that she is and I held her close. Brianna and her vulnerability and openness helped me appreciate my baby girl even more.

The first time I met Katie was at a mission trip meeting to Guatemala with Wesleyan Fellowship ( now Riverstone Church). She joined us on that wild and crazy trip and from that day forward was a constant presence around WF. She has always been delightful and full of joy and I loved watching the Lord change her from a sweet girl into a powerful woman of God. When Jacob was a few months old Katie and Donnie found out that the little girl they were expecting had very little chance of surviving outside of the womb. My heart broke. I literally fell to my knees immediately and praying for their sweet little Catherine and again I cried and cried. So many hours were spent praying for that little girl while I was up at night nursing my little man and the thousands of times I was seized with sadness during the day . You can read more about their story here. Another very long story made very short, Catherine survived and is an amazing little girl going strong. She went through A LOT for such a little person but let me say, what a happy, beautiful child she is. During those days I was a bit depressed but the story of little Catherine is what helped draw me close to my sweet Bean. I mean as I cried for Catherine and Katie in the early days I loved and cried tears of joy over my sweet perfect baby boy. So I can thank Katie and her story for giving me the opportunity to hold my son close and take a few moments in the midst of insanity to just LOVE him.

I knew Susan growing up and in high school we happened to date the same guy. At the same time. I know awesome right? The retard thing is that in high school you don't get mad at the guy, you get mad at the other girl... oh, how foolish high school is. Through out it all though Susan was always kind and didn't do the usual 'bitchy' girl thing. After high school we all went our separate ways and I loss touch with most people from high school but as I got older I had more and more respect for Susan. I would run into her here and there around M-town and I was happy to see that she was happy. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant with my littlest girl I ran into her brother (a long time friend) at Kroger and he asked me to pray for her because the little boy that Susan was due to deliver passed away that day and that night Susan was going to be induced to deliver her little man that she would never get to know. Again, I was a broken person. I cried the entire way home and Jm and I prayed for Susan and her family. I kept up with her story on her blog and prayed constantly that as I grieved for them that the Lord would relieve her of a small portion of her pain. I can't imagine being in her shoes. She has more strength than I could ever imagine having. Her struggle changed my life and again I loved my little ones a bit more intentionally and I prayed for my yet to be born little one with more fervor.

So the pain of these beautiful girls brought tremendous sadness to my own heart but each of them reminded me to love the treasures that I have. I can't thank them enough and I pray the Lords greatest blessings for each of them because Brianna, Katie and Susan are AMAZING and the Lord has used them powerfully in my life and I know many others.

Friday, February 26, 2010

I should be fired.

So the Feb project didn't go exactly as planned. Ok, so it wasn't even close to going as planned. I blogged twice. Not, 28 times, but twice... awesome. In my defense, I do believe I bit off more that I could chew. At one point during this month I got sick because I wasn't drinking enough water. I mean if I don't have time to drink vital fluids then I shouldn't feel bad for not blogging right? Well, I still want to do this thing because I am constantly thinking of people who I want to say thank you to via random blog posts:) So I will call it my Feb/March project and I will attempt to write 26 more blogs. We'll see how it goes!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Jacob, our chosen one. When I was 7 months pregnant with Jacob we still had not decided on a name for him. We had a name but it didn't feel right so we scrapped it at went back to a nameless baby:) One night while in bed I had this sense of urgency about finding a name for our little man so I immediately hopped, ok so its hard to hop when you are 7 months pregnant, I lugged myself out of bed at began praying for my little man. Almost instantly I felt the Lord tell me that He calls him Chosen. So in my handy baby name book I looked up chosen but there were not any names that meant chosen, that I felt were right for him. So I went back to God and asked if we were supposed to name him Chosen because that seemed a little unkind for a boy. So then I strongly felt the need to read Isaiah 41 and this is what it said:

"But you, O Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,

I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

So then and there I knew his name was Jacob and that is who he has been ever since.

We call our little man Bean and he has been a bundle of fun from day one. Let me explain now how Jacob Bean has changed my life. Jacob has humbled me. He showed me what grace is all about. 4 weeks after Jacob was born my life changed massively. We moved home and moved into a friends basement, John Mark was working up to 17 hours a day, so I was literally a single mom trying to balance living in a dark basement with 2 very young kids, with a very uncertain future. So Jacob in all of his innocents was thrown in to my depression BUT he was nothing but joy. To this day he reminds me of the beauty that comes from ashes. He is my picture of grace! He is full of joy and, oh, how he loves. He literally catches my heart each day. When I see him and how amazing he is it shows me that God is the one that created and forms our children, not us. Jacob is sweet and has a smile that fills a whole room. Don't get me wrong, he's not perfect. He has trouble obeying some times and can pout with the best of them but just one look at those big blue eyes melts my heart.

This year at Christmas I think there was a moment that summed up what my little man has had to face his entire life. We were at my parents and there we lots of people there and Jacob was very clingy. By the end of the evening Anna was melting down so we had to quickly head for home. I remember at one point looking down at Jacob with his eyes full of tears reaching up wanting to be held in the chaos and I had to tell him that I couldn't hold him right now. Uh. It makes me cry even now. He is my child that needs quality time, he needs to know that he is important.

So Jacob, I just want you to know that you are my little prince. You have taught me more about love, forgiveness and grace than our other babies. You, sir, have been chosen for this family, for this generation and for this world. You are a great man and I love you more than words. I wish I could go back and hold you all those times you needed to be held and I couldn't be there. The excitement that you always show teaches me to be excited for this life. I will always love you and I pray that you will live a life confident in that love and the love of your daddy and of God. You were created for great things.

I love you Buddy!!!!

I'll be posting again tonight to make up for my lack of post yesterday. Yes, I know, ay 2 and I'm already slacking:)

Monday, February 1, 2010

Virginia Louise Mulinix Crisp aka, mom

There are a couple of people that I am planning to write about that I knew a silly blog would not do the impact they have had on my life justice. One of those people is my mom. Let me preface by saying that I have a cold and I am insanely tired, so I hope this all makes sense:)
Ok, my mom. I don't know how she raised us and lived it through it. As a mother now myself, I feel for her and the difficulties she had to deal with having 2 kids 11 months apart. I remember as a kid having a stomach bug or strep throat and my mom would have it too and while I was lounging on the couch watching movies with jello, Popsicles and ginger ale, she would be in the kitchen as sick as she could be making me chicken noodle soup or what ever else suited my fancy. My mom truly is the most saintly person I have come across in this life. Some where along the way she evolved from the maker of soup to the thwarter of plans (plans in which I'm sure would have eventually killed me) to now where she is my greatest friend and alli. I know that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things are, my mom will do all that she can to make it better. The crazy thing about mom is that she is not just amazing as a mom but I see how she cares for others constantly and I know her desire to do so is not solely a result of maternal instinct but is a gift placed in by God to minister His heart to others. She is a perpetual giver and would live her life completely in want to see those around her blessed. When someone is ill or has a birthday or whatever, she is the first person to sign up to take a meal or bring a special treat to them. My mom looks for opportunities to bless others. She doesn't sit around and wait for the opportunity to fall in her lap or when they do make excuses about how busy she is, she spends her days thinking outward. Not only is she immeasurably kind hearted but she makes every occasion happier and her joy is contagious. If I'm having a bad day (which happens a bit more often these days) she is one person who I know will make the situation bright just by her presence.
So my mom has changed my life and blessed me in many ways, I mean, with out being to obvious, she gave me life. But on a deeper level, my mom has taught me how to be Jesus to others and how to see people for their very best. One day I hope that I am as positive and kind as my sweet and wonderful mom. For those of you who know her, you know how amazing she is and you all have a plenty of stories to share of her sweetness, but for those of you who haven't had the great privilege of meeting my mom, you are missing out on a treasure. I love you mom!

The 2 Louise's!
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