I want to start by saying to is Grey's Anatomy Day! I always wake up on Thursdays with a bit of a spring in my step (even when its nasty and rainy out side ) because I know that it is the night of my favorite guilty pleasure. Sometimes I wonder if I'll feel guilty for my love of this show when I see Jesus face to face. Will I wonder why i wasted an hour every week on a mindless, silly TV show? I'm sure when i see His face i wont care about anything except that which i will be gazing upon for eternity. i wish I could see it now and then Grey's anatomy wouldn't be so exciting and I would wake up everyday pumped that 'today i get to see my Jesus' face'. Sadly enough i still settle for an hour of witty coments, sexual relationships and few operations thrown in for good measure. I wish I were more holy. I admire the people who don't have TVs and just enjoy those around them.
Last night after nursing, I held a beautiful sleeping baby in my arms. My breath was taken away by the way light rested on her sweet skin and the shadows gave her features greater definition. At that moment I would have given any talent I have to be able to paint a picture of that face. Just that one and that one moment in time. It was the sweetest and at the same time the strongest fase i have ever seen. it made me realize that i have a daughter who is mine for a time but who has a life of her own given to her by God. He will guide her and she will have to strength to stand for what is true. My daughter is strong, her life will change others, she has a destiny and a future that is her own. Thats why I wish I were an artist becuase for this moment in time she needs to be held and I can gaze on her sweet face in the silences of the night but it won't last forever. i just want to remember.