Thursday, February 15, 2007

You're in my world now Grandma!




I know that many people see Isaiah and say how cute she is, but let me say that they have NO IDEA how cute she really is! I know every mom feels this way and thats why I don't feel like I'm being too proud. This girl amazes me and I am completely devoted to her. I say all of this because the other night I BROKE DOWN! I don't mean a little reminiscent of how life used to be or maybe a little down because I can't eat, sleep, think, pray, talk, read, play, breathe, run, drive, shop, write blogs or have friends when I WANT to, I mean I broke down. There was a little sobbing involed, a blank stare on my face for about 48 hours, baby food on my tee-shirt that i wore for the same 48 hours, little unsolicited conversation and a whole lot of talking to God. It was so weird! I mean every time I was with Isaiah her smile would brighten my day but I felt completely alone and kind of hollow. Annie came by on Tues to bring flowers for Isaiah and me from JM for Valentines and as she left she asked if we would ever be friends again and i was like, 'I don't know, maybe one day.' There was nothing odd about that, just normal joking between friends who rarely are serious. I went inside realizing that right now I don't feel like I have the luxury of 'friends'... so i cried about it. Basically it was one big massive pity party that lasted a couple days and now looking back I wish I could have smack myself out of it! I mean seriously each of us have about 6-9 months of our lives where life is all about us and right now Isaiah has hers. I had my mine 28 years ago, why should I deny her hers? I have a JEWEL of a baby. I mean she's WONDERFUL and she is good and she is healthy, so what the heck was I complaining about?! Being a mom is such a rare opportunity to be the center of someone's world for a short time and yes, life isn't wat it was, but DANG its awesome. I love Isaiah Grace and she is worth every sacrifice and so much more and I could kick myself for acting so poorly.
Ok, for the cute stuff...
Isaiah and her cousin Selah were dedicated on Sunday... adorable! Selah is crazy and fun and Isaiah is more reserved and cautious but both are freakishly cute in their own little ways. Selah talked through the whole first part of the service and Isaiah just looked at her like 'do you realize that there are PEOPLE looking at you?' Isaiah is not one for drawing attention to her self. (She gets that from her dad.)
The girl is now a rolly-polly, she is rolling all over the place and she so fat and chubby doing it. I love her! She is munching on solids (a little bit even goes in her mouth!) and staying awake for longer stretches, life is good and I am so thankful. We read books and her fav. is a Veggie Tale book from her Aunt Jeanney Poo because its a cloth book and she can chew on while I read. Just so you know how crazy my hormones are, today I love my life, yesterday I cried. I'm a freak.
So this is my world and I love all of the people in it. i wish I could see many of them a whole lot more, but for now I'll take what I can get:)

PS: Annie, sorry you had to see me in my t-shirt covered in baby food.

8 comments:

carolineb said...

Okay, now you're a real mom. When you want to kill yourself while being completely fulfilled, you have reached the pinnacle of motherhood. The toughest job you'll ever love. Oxymoronic? Very much yes.

Katie B said...

That was so sweet when Annie told me John Mark got roses for both his girls for Valentines.
She was so sweet on her baptism day... cutest girl!
Plus, you're a SUPERMOM.

Boggsy said...

What up?! I so enjoy reading about you, JM and Isaiah. I heart your blog...too (as you say). Anyway, you have the greatest job anybody could ever have and I know you are doing/will do a wonderful job at it! You just let me know when you and/or JM need the "friend" fix and I'll come hang with yous guys.
Peace.

Annie said...

Seriously. A shout out. What a pleasure. And I didn't even notice the baby food on your shirt. I just liked hanging out with you. Can we please do that more often?

Katie B said...

Blog so I can have something to do at work! Or just bring your little chicken taco and come and see me!! :)

AmyFritch said...

Bekah - where are you???? Are you on the blog once a month plan? I miss your thoughts!

carolineb said...

i'm sorry, i dozed off waiting for new pictures and posts.

carolineb said...

All you have to do is upload pictures. Say one sentence about each. No big long treatise, we have short attention spans anyway. Come on Bekah, you can do it!

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