Anna is 1!!!!

 

 My baby is 1. My little perfect Anna is 1. Yesterday she crossed over that huge milestone into the world of years.  She is a picture of beauty from the inside out and she has been this way for her entire first year.

 I don't have the words right now to express how much I adore this girl. I have realized that I have a deep love for each of my babies and for each of them that love is irrevocably theirs. I don't love one more than the other. I love them each completely, whole heartedly with the love that is theirs. I don't feel like their is a 'favoritism' issue because I truly can't love Jacob with the love that is for Anna or Zaya and I can't love Anna with the love that is for Jacob or Zay. Its weird. My heart is given to each of them and that love that is theirs will never go away, it will never diminish for the love of something else, it will remain invested in each of their lives forever.

 So as I sit here and try to figure out how to put my love for this beautiful one into words I know that there is no pressure to do it now or perfectly. The words will come from that deep place that limbos between elation and heart ache. The place your heart fears to go because once it enters it no longer has control. It is lost. Lost to the love of another person. Its a good place to lose your heart, scary but good.

 Anna, you are treasure. You have captured my heart and I adore you completely! Happy first birthday my littlest princess, you changed my life a year ago and I am so much better as a result of it! Your smile lights up this house and your laugh is like the best medicine money can buy. Your presence heals me. I thank God everyday for the huge blessing of you. He knew how much you were needed here :)