I'm all over the place on this one!

I can't believe you're almost over June! I guess the craziness of this month is probably why I constantly think it is still the first week of June and then I'm floored when I hear what day it really is (this happens daily). Craziness is all relative- any house hold with three kids three and under is defined solely by the level of chaos it can endure- we can endure a lot! Its the good chaos most of the time :)

The, oh so popular, daddy sandwich!

Tonight I had a slight glimpse of what a "more normal" life would look like. After dinner John Mark took the elders out for a walk and I gave the littlest princess a bath and put her to bed. This may seem like the norm for many but my husband not only works hard all week at his full time job but he also puts in some time at another little job throughout the week. So that means usually 5 nights a week I'm flying solo at bed time. Trying to get all three of those wild ones bathed, clothed, hair brushed, teeth brushed, books read, prayers prayed and Anna nursed. It is a wonder that I can function normally after that. But tonight John Mark was here to play with our kids while I got to put Anna to bed in peace... it was amazing. I love that the the Lord is providing for our needs through JM's jobs but I think I may start asking Him to provide a job with "normal" business hours... it would be nice:)

We do however do many normal things, like summer fun things! My fav is and always will be the sprinkler! I have found my self running through it a lime or two this summer with Anna in-tow... sadly, no pics!

My water babies! They have both just taken to water this summer... it doesn't matter where the water is, if they find it, they will be in it!

Funny faces and funny buns. I swear we don't have a bathing suit that will stay up. I can the ties so tight that I think he won't digest his food properly and still, those shorts come down!

She wishes she could get in n the action... maybe next year my love! Dang, is it me or is she beautiful? Seriously, I'm aware that I am a mom and I think my kids are all perfect and the best at everything... but she is freakishly beautiful.

Sometimes we have impromptu water fun. Like on our stroller cleaning day... Bean got a hold of that hose and we were all soaked:) It was good. Have I mentioned that I love our yard?

Sometimes the heat gets to be a little much for us so its off to...

CHUCK E CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!

Don't let the exclamation marks fool you... I learned that I am not a fan. I mean its good for an every-now-and-then type of thing but it was a hard to observe our culture from that place... I didn't like us very much.

Most days however, we just lay around the house, doing chores and letting life happen... its a good life.

6 months old!!!!

You may be wondering (or maybe not) why there aren't many Anna pics. Well, that is because my little one turned six months old this month!!! Dang, where has the time gone! She is my precious little bundle of love and I could literally spend an entire day cuddling with her on my bed- just the two of us, watching her move and play and just be her. She is sweet and cuddly and happy and everything a baby should be. I love her. I love her deeply. I thought that by the time I had three kids my ability to love would begin to wane... but alas it has not! With each of mine my heart has been refreshed to love again just as deeply and intense. She is no exception. This month she has cut 2 perfect little teeth and she is scooting all over our floor. I guess here n a week or two I'll have a crawler on my hards... I should do a better job cleaning my floors! Well, here are some pics of my littlest princess this month... I love you bug and my life is a better one because of you! The next 6 months are going to be a blast!

JM took this video this morning... awesome!

Enjoying Life

I am beginning to enjoy my life again. I know that its kind of a loaded statement because it implies that I haven't been enjoying life and with that there is speculation to why I haven't been. Well, lets just say that I have appreciated my life for the entire that it has been mine but there is a difference in being appreciative for something and truly enjoying it. I have appreciated all of this life's blessings including John Mark, the kiddos, friends but in this season I have not been free to enjoy these great blessings. Busyness steals my joy and pleasure. There is no time to relax an enjoy the lives before me when I am consumed with what must happen for our lives to function. And it isn't just people that I have stopped enjoying, it is hobbies and enjoying who God created me to be. I have lost sight of the person inside the machine.

So all of that to say that I ma beginning to enjoy life again. I 'm learning to allow God to heal my heart and carry my burdens so that I can enjoy the blessings in my life. I'm relaxing more and strolling along side this life instead of always trying to be a step ahead. Most importantly, I'm enjoying my husband, this wonderful creation , because we were made for each other. When you're fighting against the pressures of life and children it is easy to forget that you have someone beside you who wants to enjoy life with you... if you'd let them. I'm loving my precious ones more actively and enjoying their lives, because they deserve to be delighted in. On the 'me' side of things, I'm enjoying reclaiming my old body, diving back into healthy-'er' eating (: , going on dates, taking classes and of course, my new-found love of taking pics of my family. I want to document our life because its amazing to me. I used to take pics because I knew that one day I would be glad I did but now I just love the process. I love getting great pics of their little faces and knowing that they are going to decorate our halls and living room. I want to look around my house and always be reminded to enjoy... enjoy it all.

Here are a few of my favorite pics as of late:

Sleeping princess

My pretty girl

Love those legs!

Seriously, steals my heart

a girl and her daddy

Miss silly

Loves to play

Mr Silly

and sillier

yes, she is sound asleep

big blue eyes

makes my heart smile

I'll leave you with this lovely image of JM wearing my sun glasses... he sure can make pink look manly!

Well, I should be studying... but I'm going to go pour juice, roll around on the floor, nurse a beautiful baby, start dinner and smile a lot with my amazing, God breathed family.

Life Anew

I feel alive. I feel like God has heard us. I feel like he is smiling, for the first time in, dang I don't even remember how long its been. I have always known that we are a family that has lived in the blessing of the Lord. He has been gracious to us, when we have run away, and even when I have turned my back on him. Who is this God that loves us? It hurts me to think of the depth of his love, and yet, I have accepted it as something insignificant, and small. Not even that, let me see if I can explain it. Sometimes I see the Lord like he was the guy that had bad timing leaving a restaurant. You know how that works, when your wanting to go get in your car, and you get stuck holding the door open for people. I feel like that was God, wanting to go do other stuff, but we just happened to be there in time, and because he has a reputation of being a "nice guy" he decides to keep holding the door as my family walked into the restaurant. We have all been there. We all smile as families come in, and then the next family right behind them, and the next, and on and on....before long, you just get annoyed, and wonder who will step up and hold the damn door for their own party coming in to eat. I have felt like God has had that attitude for me and my family for a long time....now I feel different. We have been crying out for God to show up, and have felt like there was literally a wall between our prayers and his ears. I now see that it has been my sin, stubbornness and rebellion against the Lord, that I, not him, have created that barrier.

We are turning the corner. We are in such a good place. It is not the easiest place, but man it is sweet and good. Bekah has been an incredible source of showing strength, and inspiration of what Jesus would do. I am blown away by this woman. She has shown me love, and I am positioning myself to let her know, that it is well understood and recieved.

Bekah and I have always dreamed of continuing our life, after kids, as carefree and laid back as it was before we had them. It hasn't been that way. Life has gotten in the way, and in the process it has made me a parent that is regularly frustrated, and often going from laid back daddy to easily frustrated very quickly. The thoughts of wanting to be a consistent parent, one who sticks to his guns, and does what is right, blah blah blah, has seemingly robbed my kids of being kids. I have wanted obedience from my kids consistently without knowing the line of letting them be kids, and splash as hard as they can in the bathtub, instead of worrying about getting water all over the bathroom. I have even gone to the extreme where I despise giving baths, cause I know it will make me frustrated. It seems like you come around to being more chill in life when you get round two as Grandparents. I always wanted to be that way as the Dad, and not take life so seriously. Why is it that everything gets so serious? You feel so responsible, and that you need to do everything the way Dr. Ruth, (wait she is like the Sex doctor right?) or Laura, or Dobson would say that you do, instead of just trusting your instincts. There are no rules. I mean there are, but with each kid, you have to parent according to their personality, their needs, and how they receive love.

Its no easy task. No one said it would be. I am just so thankful for the hand that has been dealt me. I know my life doesn't look perfect. The cool thing is I don't care anymore. I know I won't parent perfectly. But dang those kids are going to know that their parents love them compeltely no matter what. I know that I won't be delivering a dozen roses to my wife every time I come home from work, but I do my best to show her in some way, every day, that I love her, just as she is. Life is way too short. I'm thankful that I am seeing this now. I have so much time. I want the world to know that my family is my priority. We are in it together. I am proud of them. I love them. I am thankful for them. You should know them too. If you don't, dang your missing out. They all rock.