Jacob

Jacob, our chosen one. When I was 7 months pregnant with Jacob we still had not decided on a name for him. We had a name but it didn't feel right so we scrapped it at went back to a nameless baby:) One night while in bed I had this sense of urgency about finding a name for our little man so I immediately hopped, ok so its hard to hop when you are 7 months pregnant, I lugged myself out of bed at began praying for my little man. Almost instantly I felt the Lord tell me that He calls him Chosen. So in my handy baby name book I looked up chosen but there were not any names that meant chosen, that I felt were right for him. So I went back to God and asked if we were supposed to name him Chosen because that seemed a little unkind for a boy. So then I strongly felt the need to read Isaiah 41 and this is what it said:

"But you, O Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,

I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant';
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

So then and there I knew his name was Jacob and that is who he has been ever since.

We call our little man Bean and he has been a bundle of fun from day one. Let me explain now how Jacob Bean has changed my life. Jacob has humbled me. He showed me what grace is all about. 4 weeks after Jacob was born my life changed massively. We moved home and moved into a friends basement, John Mark was working up to 17 hours a day, so I was literally a single mom trying to balance living in a dark basement with 2 very young kids, with a very uncertain future. So Jacob in all of his innocents was thrown in to my depression BUT he was nothing but joy. To this day he reminds me of the beauty that comes from ashes. He is my picture of grace! He is full of joy and, oh, how he loves. He literally catches my heart each day. When I see him and how amazing he is it shows me that God is the one that created and forms our children, not us. Jacob is sweet and has a smile that fills a whole room. Don't get me wrong, he's not perfect. He has trouble obeying some times and can pout with the best of them but just one look at those big blue eyes melts my heart.

This year at Christmas I think there was a moment that summed up what my little man has had to face his entire life. We were at my parents and there we lots of people there and Jacob was very clingy. By the end of the evening Anna was melting down so we had to quickly head for home. I remember at one point looking down at Jacob with his eyes full of tears reaching up wanting to be held in the chaos and I had to tell him that I couldn't hold him right now. Uh. It makes me cry even now. He is my child that needs quality time, he needs to know that he is important.

So Jacob, I just want you to know that you are my little prince. You have taught me more about love, forgiveness and grace than our other babies. You, sir, have been chosen for this family, for this generation and for this world. You are a great man and I love you more than words. I wish I could go back and hold you all those times you needed to be held and I couldn't be there. The excitement that you always show teaches me to be excited for this life. I will always love you and I pray that you will live a life confident in that love and the love of your daddy and of God. You were created for great things.

I love you Buddy!!!!

I'll be posting again tonight to make up for my lack of post yesterday. Yes, I know, ay 2 and I'm already slacking:)

Virginia Louise Mulinix Crisp aka, mom

There are a couple of people that I am planning to write about that I knew a silly blog would not do the impact they have had on my life justice. One of those people is my mom. Let me preface by saying that I have a cold and I am insanely tired, so I hope this all makes sense:)

Ok, my mom. I don't know how she raised us and lived it through it. As a mother now myself, I feel for her and the difficulties she had to deal with having 2 kids 11 months apart. I remember as a kid having a stomach bug or strep throat and my mom would have it too and while I was lounging on the couch watching movies with jello, Popsicles and ginger ale, she would be in the kitchen as sick as she could be making me chicken noodle soup or what ever else suited my fancy. My mom truly is the most saintly person I have come across in this life. Some where along the way she evolved from the maker of soup to the thwarter of plans (plans in which I'm sure would have eventually killed me) to now where she is my greatest friend and alli. I know that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things are, my mom will do all that she can to make it better. The crazy thing about mom is that she is not just amazing as a mom but I see how she cares for others constantly and I know her desire to do so is not solely a result of maternal instinct but is a gift placed in by God to minister His heart to others. She is a perpetual giver and would live her life completely in want to see those around her blessed. When someone is ill or has a birthday or whatever, she is the first person to sign up to take a meal or bring a special treat to them. My mom looks for opportunities to bless others. She doesn't sit around and wait for the opportunity to fall in her lap or when they do make excuses about how busy she is, she spends her days thinking outward. Not only is she immeasurably kind hearted but she makes every occasion happier and her joy is contagious. If I'm having a bad day (which happens a bit more often these days) she is one person who I know will make the situation bright just by her presence.

So my mom has changed my life and blessed me in many ways, I mean, with out being to obvious, she gave me life. But on a deeper level, my mom has taught me how to be Jesus to others and how to see people for their very best. One day I hope that I am as positive and kind as my sweet and wonderful mom. For those of you who know her, you know how amazing she is and you all have a plenty of stories to share of her sweetness, but for those of you who haven't had the great privilege of meeting my mom, you are missing out on a treasure. I love you mom!

The 2 Louise's!

Today is a better day :)

So here is the story about my sweet little Anna. She has reflux and there are some days when she naps normally and only spits up a little here and there. Some days however are like yesterday where she didn't sleep at all and was so over tired she just cried (not to mention the constant milk bath we were both getting). I was so over tired from having to hold her constantly and from the lack of sleep the night before and add to that the guilt of not being able to do ANYTHING for my other sweet ones besides absolute necessities, it was a really hard day. By about 3pm I had shut down emotionally. That may sound bad but I found it necessary just to prevent getting frustrated so I opted for indifference. Most of the time I can talk myself down, telling myself that this is just for a brief moment and soon it will all be over. But in those dark nights of the soul there is no comfort.

Anyway, all of this to say that today is better! My sweet little one is sleeping and happy and spitting up minimally. I just want her to be healthy and pain free. We have had her prayed for a couple of times which has worked wonders but for some reason it was just for a time. I don't always understand the ways of God, and I guess that is kind of a good thing- I mean what kind of God would he be if he thought the way I do. So, we are still battling reflux from time to time and as of today I am dairy, caffeine and acidic fruit free. She is worth it! (We'll see how I feel next time I'm at La Parilla and can't have cheese or salsa! heehee!)

Well tomorrow starts my February Project! I'm not sure who I'm going to start with yet. I have tried to cheat a little and write some entries before hand but I have found that there is some thing to be said about writing in the moment for the person that I am thankful for in that moment. I think it will be better that way:)

If you think to pray for my sweet Anna, I would appreciate it!

Oh, another thing! I'm going back to the gym! I haven't worked out consistently since Isaiah was born and I can't wait to get back in the saddle! We'll see how long it takes to drop my 30+ extra pounds remaining from each of my 3 treasures:)

A February Project for Me :)

Ok, so while I was nursing my sweet little one I had an idea... I think it was a God thing. I realized that many I have been blessed by many people and their investment is what has made me who I am today. SO for the month of Feb. I am going to try to blog each day about one of many amazing people in my life. Some entries may be long some may just be a shout-out, all depending on the time I have on that given day. I think this will be a great opportunity to let the world know a bit about the wonderful people in my life and give me a reason each day to express my thanks. God has been good to me and I want the world to know just how good:)

Our girl is 2 weeks and 2 days old... an update is needed!

A lot has gone on in our house since I last posted. Zaya had a Christmas party at school and she was an all star as usual and we were so proud to see her interact with her friends and sing fun songs (she was the only one really singing... we can't get her to stop!) She had a great Christmas and loves her new sis! She is such a little mommy. She carries her Bitty Baby around the house all the time and loves to change her clothes and diapers, rock her, but her in her swing, take her around the house in her stroller, read to her... its precious! She just amazes me every day with what a neat kid she is.
Zaya and her teachers (we LOVE them!):




Jacob is his usual fun and happy self. He is adjusting to the new sister pretty good. He's a bit more cuddly and needs some extra quality time, but I enjoy it! He is super into trains right now... and cars and trucks, basicly anything with wheels:) He's leaving baby-ness behind and becoming a little boy more and more each day... sad. He is VERY athletic which is no surprise to us because he's been so active for so long, but he loves to throw and play catch (he has a great arm) and he will kick a ball around our yard for hours on end:) His smile is awesome and it steals my heart. Dang, I love my kids.
Bean with his BB (aka- his precious):

His bed-head is AWESOME!


Now for our new jewel: Miss Anna has arrived and has been with us for a couple of weeks now and is proving to be an amazing addition to our family! She was 9lbs, 9ozs and 21 1/4 inches (they mis-measured her at the hospital, when we went to the Dr. 2 days later she was amazingly 2 inches longer!) She sleeps great... I have to work real hard to keep her up during the day so that she'll sleep good at night:) She has been a great nurser from the beginning and only eats every few hours. With the other two I had to stretch out their meals and try to get them to go longer but Anna is a champ:) Sadly she has some reflux issues but it doesn't make her fussy. She just spits-up a lot after each feeding. We both end up soaked many times a day... I need a full-body burp cloth:) If this is our only issue, we're great! We think she may have dimples and shes not near as chunky as her sibs ( probably because of the reflux) but she is still in newborn clothes and the other two NEVER wore newborn... they went straight for 3 months:) She is sweet and laid back and I can't wait to get to know her more and more. She is just as amazing as her siblings... we are going to have so much fun in the years to come.


I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that 2010 is a great year, filled with great joy and the powerful presence of Jesus Christ... He is our hope and our salvation! Blessings! Bye for now!

Can't wait to meet you!

Hey little pearl:)
So you should be here any day now! Its really weird because I don't feel like its any day, it seems like it could still be weeks away. I think its because life has been so crazy lately that I haven't had time to just sit and think about just you. So here I am, at 1:30 in the morning (one of many sleepless nights) just taking time to think about you and who you are and who God made you to be. We are naming you Anna because, although she was mentioned very briefly in the bible, her roll and obedience proved to be very rewarding. In Luke 2 Jesus was presented at the temple and Simeon had prophesied over him and a woman named Anna was there and she had given her life to fasting and prayer and when she saw Jesus she began to speak of him to others as the redemption of Jerusalem. So your daddy and I thought it would be a great legacy to place on your life that you too will prophesy and have a heart that beats for ONE THING. I love you little one and I pray for you now and all the days of your life that you will be strong in knowledge of who your savior is, bold in declaring the truth and wisdom He gives and a steadfast heart to go after Him no matter what competes for your attention. Anna in the Bible was blessed that she got to see Jesus face-to-face, I pray the same for you, little one, that as you pursue Him fully that you too will see Him face-to-face.
You are a huge blessing to this family already and we can't wait to hold you and hear your voice! Your sister and brother are constantly yelling into my tummy, 'HEY ANNA!' Its pretty cute but I'm afraid they may have scared you into never coming out! Seriously, the weather out here is great... well, its a little cold, but its December and this next week it will be in the 60s, I believe, so it should be a great time to see Marietta. We have your nursery ready to go and plenty of little things to keep you occupied and happy. Zaya will be a great big sis and will show you all the ropes... the girl knows her rules and how live happily w/ in those boundaries. She is sweet and she can't wait to hold you, rock you and teach you how to talk, laugh, sing and I'm sure many other wonderful things! She is a great teacher and a sweet soul. I think Bean thinks that you are some great toy that is coming at Christmas time, so we'll have to watch you close so that he doesn't get overly excited around you, he may try to throw you. He will be a great big brother and he will show you how to get the most out of this life and teach you how to balance fun with caution... ok, so it may not be too balanced... he errs more on the side of fun than caution:) I can see y'all javing many adventures together through the years. He will be fun and crazy but he will also protect you and Zay, thats what brothers are for! You are coming into a wild and crazy family, little pearl, but we love you very much and can't wait for your arrival. I pray that the Lord gives me wisdom to be the mother that you need. I know I will make plenty of mistakes and I won't get things right sometimes but I pray that the love that you get from me, your daddy and your brother and sister directs you to the ultimate Love, Jesus. You are precious to me and there are no words for how excited I am to see your sweet face! I love you little one and can't wait to walk through this life with you! You are already a treasure to us!

Here is a pic of your bother and sis with Santa on the square... if you are with us soon we're going to try to get another one with the three of you!

Hi, I'm tired, nice to meet you.

DISCLAIMER: This is pitiful and I'm sorry to all who have stumbled across this. I just have to get it out before JM gets home so we can have a nice pleasant evening:)

I'm tired of being pregnant. I have been pregnant or nursing for like 3 years. I'm tired. I know, i chose this route but for the moment I just want to know what my pant size is for longer than a month at a time. I'm tired of not being able to bend over the tub anymore to bath my other kiddos resulting in me and the floor being soaked on a bi-nightly basis. I'm tired of wanting to sit down. I'm tired of being big enough that I look like I could deliver any day but I still have 10 weeks to go. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of never feeling like I get enough done and then feeling guilty because of it. I'm tired of laundry that multiplies over night or a sink that over flows with dishes after one meal. I'm tired of dirty floors and alphabet magnets. I'm tired of being a single parent 6 days a week. I'm tired of dinners with just me and two silly kids. I'm tired. I'm tired of having 15 pairs of shoes in my car and 2 garage bags worth of junk. I'm tired of school and I'm only taking 2 classes! I'm tired of needing help from so many people all the time and then feeling like a burden. I'm tired of not having real friends anymore. I'm tired of not being able to do anything at night because JM isn't home until 9:30 or so. I am tired of stupid TV shows. I'm tired of not making time to laugh any more... or cry for that matter. I think any show of emotion would be an improvement:) I'm tired of hoping that things will wander back into their rightful place but they never do. I'm tired of never taking time for myself but feeling like I only think of myself. I'm tired of trying to balance it all. I'm tired of feeling like I never see or get to have a real conversation with JM. We used to laugh so much. I'm tired of not relying on Jesus. I'm tired of feeling so far away. I'm tired of watching life happen and wondering if I'll ever feel apart of it again. I'm tired of the few moments that I have to really encounter God not being able to stay there as long as I want. Like I said, I'm just tired.

Please forgive me for this little outlet, I needed it for just a minute. Reality is that anytime I'm tired or frustrated all I have to do is take one look at my sweet babies and it all goes away. There is no greater reason to abandon laundry, dishes and life in general than my precious ones. I have bad days and good ones and ultimately I want to be someone who loves and appreciates them all. Everyday that I get to wake up to JM's sleepy face and hear little voices calling for mama from across the hall should be the greatest days ever. I just have to pray for grace to see the beauty and treasure in the midst of all the struggle.

Wow. How's this for a welcome back to blogging after 2 months or something!